on not moving out — reasons to never go indie

your dad won’t appreciate the fact that you, as his favorite kid of the household, reading this, and i would like to warn you to keep this along with your secret stash and read incognito. the plan is to stay at your parents’ as long as possible, not to get fired after getting caught researching the dark arts of avoiding indie adulthood. seriously, your parents won’t like this.

the first part should be dismantling the egotistical mindset held by the youth about getting their sh!t together and planning to move out early on. i mean, what makes one proud and fulfilled knowing they are going solo or have gone solo right after graduation? in this economy?

the next myth about moving out in your early twenties is that people keep saying you’d find all the freedom that the world offers when you live under your own roof. but then, i ask you this. what kind of freedom are we talking about? what kind of sinful life have you been leading that it makes you hate living with family to avoid getting caught? i mean, there is only one case to which you’d need privacy and a huge freedom to perform. and that is, yes, you guessed it right, it is to read this article and craft your ultimately classified plan of not living in your childhood bedroom and relying on consistent meals provided by mom and dad.

i say you don’t need to feel successful for spreading your wings and starting to rawdog this thing the streets call “life,” nor do you require this level of freedom and privacy for yourself, as you probably have nothing to hide from your parents, siblings, or anyone. in fact, moving out backfires most of the time because you’d lose privacy and freedom and give it all to your landlord (and you pay them for that).

we shall now proceed to the fundamental reasons that should stop you from considering this stupid idea of moving out. and trust me, these reasons are more convincing than any reason others would provide to support moving out and start living on your own.

1. economy

try this. ask your parents/guardians for an updated market price of grocery items.

they will tell you rice now costs 10 times more than it did when we were in high school or middle school. personally, one of the core memories of my childhood and teenage years is the fact that rice costs ETB 16 per kilogram. while my core memory about the mitochondria being the powerhouse of the cell stays relevant to these days (thanks to the scientific method), the price of rice has changed unimaginably, and no scientific approach towards inflation calculation would make sense when you understand the current situation we are in.

2. self-care

sure we all can cook, and that is the norm nowadays. the problem creeps in when you get so busy living alone to the point you get tired of cooking your dinner and just improvise staying satiated with cold water and sleep to avoid extra work.

i have friends who moved out. they don’t usually eat (in trump’s voice). they tell me it is either energy draining or costly, and they are exhausted and broke as a result.

3. you get sick alone

not to get too dark, but a simple hiccup or cough will result in leaving life at all because you won’t have someone to bring you water or help you get your breath back. i don’t wish this on any of us, but worth thinking about when we deal with health conditions and struggles as a single person who decided to live alone. maybe having a trusted roommate would be a good idea, but that also comes with its own cost and mentally taxing experiences. imagine having a roommate who doesn’t do the dishes.

don’t move out. for heaven’s sake

if you’re not convinced enough yet, i think you hate your family. there is no other way to put it, and i blame you for hating your family. what’s wrong with ya’ll?

but if you think not moving out is a chad move, stay tuned for the next part of this blog post. i will talk about techniques and hacks to stay with your family without them noticing it or bothering them despite the fact that all you do is take and take even in your 30s. pushing 30, by the way. thanks for reading this. i will see you with the next part, and i am sure you will be at your parents’ when the next part gets published.

(share this with a person planning to move out and save lives)